The Courage to Change Your Mind

We co-create our reality from our self-concept. Our self-concept is built on our negative and positive belief systems. If you believe bad things about yourself, what type of reality do you manifest? You might be able to manifest a mansion but in time lose everything if your self-concept can not allow it. Self-concept precedes reality.

Yet, what happens when we decide to change? In the early phases of deciding to change and in attempting to make small changes, your fear of non-survival may loom. How do you reckon with this part of yourself? It is important to remember that this type of growth isn’t about losing any part of yourself. This type of growth involves integrating all that you are.

This is why I love loving-kindness so much. At its core, employing methods of loving-kindness helps us to integrate our shadowy places. You build a stronger you, by relating to the fear of non-survival, your negative self-concept, and your negative belief system. The freedom that you aspire to can be built on your dedication, courage, and by doing the hard tasks at hand. Many things are achievable if you choose to take it one step at a time.

The hard tasks at hand involve your willingness to feel uncomfortable as you allow yourself to feel your feelings. After all, aren’t you going to feel it anyway? This type of feeling your feelings is not a displacement of your feelings onto someone else. Do you have the courage to feel this uncomfortable and to allow it to become your new normal?

Self-talk can be helpful. Don’t you talk with yourself anyway? So how do we re-script this inner dialog from hating yourself to lovingly nurturing all of your parts? How do you develop some of the inner cast of characters so that you are able to meet your life circumstances with a strong team?

If you dare to dream, can you dream that the parts of you that speak poorly to you are desperate for your attention? These are the parts of you that are starving for attention and hungry for a meaningful sense of connection.

As an example:  (when the negative voices surge) Can you lovingly say to this part of you, (in your own words) Sweetheart please come here. You will always be a part of me. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. This isn’t your responsibility, it is mine. And I will work on it step by step. If you have more to tell me about it, I would love to hear. Then send the most loving sense of connection to it. And notice what changes.

There are many steps on the great journey. We all pick our place on the great mountain…

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With Loving-Kindness,

Mark